A look at what happens when you've climbed back out of the rabbit hole.

Monday, September 20, 2010

It Lingers

Sometimes I get really, really scared. About my health. About the ways I've damaged it. About the possibility that, because of years of self-abuse, I will die young.

My resting heartrate is 54 bpm. My blood pressure hangs out around 90/60. My hands and feet are freezing when it's 100 degrees outside. My teeth are sensitive to hot and cold. I'm tired all the time. My hormones are wacky. I have headaches almost every day. My digestion hasn't been normal in years.

All this, and I'm in my seventh year of recovery.

So yes, I get really, really scared. What if I came this far, worked this hard, and the eating disorder STILL wins?

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