Asking For Help

A lot of people have trouble asking for help. I'd venture to guess that most people have a hard time with it. Humans are a proud bunch (probably some evolutionary adaptation). In addition to pride, shame and guilt play a big role. I can't count the number of times I've begun a request with, "I'm so sorry to ask this, but..." or, "Please don't hate me, but could you..." We are supposed to be able to fix our own problems. We are supposed to be independent. We are supposed to be self-sufficient. Above all, we are supposed to be strong.

Ha. When you find that perfect, needless person, call her a liar right to her face. There IS no such person. We ALL need help sometimes. The ability to ask for it is absolutely necessary to survival (physical AND emotional). I go to school with a nice but very insecure girl. We get out of class late at night, and she has no car. She walks home, in a sketchy neighborhood, by herself. She will not ask for help. Think of the dangers: she could fall and injure herself. She could become the victim of a crime. She could be struck by a vehicle. This girl knows there are plenty of us from whom she could get a ride, but is afraid to ask for help. (Luckily there are enough of us who recognize her risk to talk her into one of our cars most nights.)

Let's take that example, and apply it to an eating disorder. We'll call our subject Leah. Leah is sick, has been for some time. She restricts, binges and purges, exercises too much. She's worked very hard to hide her behaviors from the people around her. Now, though, Leah is starting to have health complications. Her hair is falling out, she's frequently dizzy, she's cold all the time. Leah knows she needs help before it gets worse, but she's afraid to ask. Let's explore the danger Leah could be in: she could pass out while driving. She could have a heart attack. She could choke while binging. She could have a gastric or esophageal rupture while purging. She could develop osteoporosis and fracture a bone while exercising. She could fall into a deep depression and be at risk for self-injury or suicide.

Does Leah need help? Absolutely. Is Leah scared? Extremely. Is Leah ashamed, embarrassed, guilt-ridden? Without a doubt. Is it more important that Leah keeps her secret, or that she reaches out for help? We all know the answer to that.

Every person in this world needs help at one time or another, and we usually need to ask for it in order to get it. If you need help right now, please put your health and safety first and ASK for it. If someone needs help from you, please extend your arms in gratitude, for it is a great gift to be needed.