The Why

I have been thinking about starting a blog for years. Since the term "blog" still conjured up images of something nasty on the bottom of your shoe. Despite the desire, I have held back. My recovery, now six years on, didn't feel real enough yet. I didn't feel "well enough" to espouse my wisdom and clarity. Therein lied the problem.

I am not wise. I possess very little clarity. While I am much more "well" than I have been in a decade, I am still not cured. You see, there's something no one tells you when you're just starting out on the path to an eating disorder. It is this: you can never go back, not all the way. You will never be the same. As "recovered" as you may get, you will still remember. It's impossible to forget.

It is with this insight that I finally decided to start the blog. I cannot pass on any valuable pieces of advice or offer any inspired guidance. What I can do is relate. I know how hard it is to get better. I know how badly you want to go back sometimes. I know how distressing it is to remember vacations in terms of what you ate and where you threw up. I've been there. I made it out. I went from being absolutely convinced of my own demise to being absolutely awestruck by my future. I believe in change. I have been given a second chance.

Take my hand and climb with me, one step at a time, out of the rabbit hole.