"Fat Is Not A Feeling."

I don't know how many times I've heard the treatment-ism "Fat is not a feeling." I also don't know how many times I've uttered the words, "I feel fat." I still do.

In fact, I was getting dressed just yesterday, and in my utter exasperation, I declared to my husband, "I feel fat!" Being a man, and a well-adjusted one at that, he replied, "What does 'fat' feel like, exactly? Because you certainly don't LOOK fat." I was unsure how to respond. "I don't know. It feels... big. Wrong. Overflowing. Excessive." He raised an eyebrow and resumed his morning routine.

I started analyzing the feelings, in true recovery fashion. Just what am I experiencing when I "feel fat?" Sure, sometimes I just don't like the way my pants fit. More often, though, it's a lot more complicated than that. Perhaps it's a response to my own confusion. Maybe "fat" isn't fat, exactly, but more like fear. Instead of "I feel fat," maybe the truth is more like, "I feel afraid."

That's okay, too. It's okay to feel afraid. It's okay to feel uncomfortable. It's okay to feel like things aren't quite right. As long as you can keep yourself from turning your emotions into negative behaviors, you're still on the right track. I know I am.