Discrimination

I am a bigot. My intolerance is not of people of different races, religions, sexual orientations. My bias is against obese people.

I am not proud of this. I try very, very hard to fight against it. I tell myself over and over and over that people are obese for the same reasons I was underweight - they use food to deal with their emotions. Truthfully, I was no different from an overweight person. I was no different at 95 lbs. than a heavy person is at 400.

Still, my feelings persist. I see an obese person and my first thought is, "WEAK." "She has no control over herself." "He's a glutton." "She's just lazy." I hate myself for this. This type of discrimination is something that disgusts me at a core level. I have no patience for people who judge others based on trivial arrtibutes. Why, then, do I vilify heavy people?

Insecurity. Plain and simple. I know that I have issues. I know how skewed my mind is. I know how unnatural it is to analyze my elbows to ensure they're no bigger than they were yesterday. If I can look upon an overweight person and deem her weaker than I, then perhaps I'm not as pathetic as I feel.

Discrimination is an ugly, self-defeating thing.