Tonight in our Body Image group we had a rather enlightening assignment. We were to come up with a body affirmation - something positive about our bodies that we do not currently believe but want to believe in the future. Then we had to fill out a worksheet answering questions about that affirmation. It seems like a rather straightforward exercise, but it threw me for a loop. It exposed the core belief that has driven my eating disorder and other self-destructive behaviors for years. It also shed light on why my progress is going so slowly and painfully. Here is my affirmation, and the ensuing Q&A.
AFFIRMATION: "My body is not the cause of my past suffering."
"If I feel this way, then I will have to..." stop punishing and blaming my body for all the hurt in my life.
"Then what might happen?" I will have nothing or no one to blame.
"If I feel this way, then I will no longer be able to..." excuse all of my self-destructive behaviors.
"Than what might happen?" I would have to stop acting out against myself.
"If I feel this way, then I will run the risk of..." losing my entire identity.
"Then what might happen?" I won't know who I am or why my life has been the way it has.
"If I feel this way, what aspects of my identity might I have to let go of?" My identity as a bad, dirty, unfixable person.
"Then what might happen?" I don't know, and that scares me.
do the work
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